Been thinking a lot lately
you WOULD if you are stuck at home for two MONTHS(nearly two months)
been worrying about stuff (of course) like SPM...
i know i did badly and there's this horrible ffeeling that i'll get lots of Bs and a D(for mandarin){worst FAIL but it wouldn't be so bad if they didn't put your grades onto the slip if you fail}
because my mandarin essay is out of topic T.T
felt like crying out loud but what is done is done.. i did my best.. i can't change it.. i will just have to face the fact and reality.. not avoiding it
ever since stpm result was out..i'm having constant reminder about "your spm....your result..."
frustrating AND annoying ...and scary AND stressful
i'm the eldest siblings
so naturally it's my responsibility to be a role model for my younger sisters
yes my parents told me over and over again it's ok that you don't get straight As but i can SEE it in their EYES
they REALLY do want the straight As...i felt like i had totally let them down..and it's my fault for not studiyng harder...
hopefully i can get scholarships so i don't have to rely my academics fees on my parents
i felt like i owed them A LOT(even though parents pissed you most of the time)[anyway who doesn't felt that way? everyone must AT LEAST once felt like they controlled too much of your life but you know they only want the best for you]
i'm really glad i met so many people i can call friends at high school
because i didn't really met many real or understanding friends in primary school
(primary school life if one of the worst periods of my life)
i was dumb,naive, too innocent and stupid, no personality just a complete nerd until i went F1 and realise how insane i had been for the past 6 years
REal or Understanding friends
they don't have to be CLOSE friends
they are they one who gives you advices, their point of views to help you through the barrier inside yourself
they are honest even though honesty sometimes really hurts but you've got to face the facts. and facts ARE facts, there's no denying it.
they always had given you help indirectly, without you realising it most of the time
and when you do, you'll be grateful for they are there.
they sometimes had many things in common with you such as characteristics{the way they treat some things etc)
and sometimes understanding friends think alike.
(Great minds think alike no doubt xD and i guess that's why they are UNDERSTANDING friends)
they are there, they are always there, they are around us only we don't notice them most of the time, they were and always will be there
i thank God(i'm not a christian even though my mom's friend been giving me bible study since er..i can't remember when)(i go to the temple once in awhile becuse my grandma wants me to and i can't say no to my grandma)so i'm a free-thinker like my parents
but i believe there's someone/something up there or down there or around us who had created us,guided us through life
they had given each a life which is expectedly unexpected.
Hence live your life to the fullest..life ain't long.
Treasure your life and most importantly everyone and everything around you.
for example i didn't treasure much of my watch(not because it's an original RM 500 Swatch Snowboarder complete with certs black-red1 of my fav colour combination watch)
it's because i WON that watch when i was 14years old.
it represents one of my best achievements in when i was 14.
i lost it after my biology exam during spm..i'm not sure if i lost it at school or what but i hope whoever found it would treasure it eeven though it might mean nothing to you...
conclusion
no one can define what is life
life varies with every special individuals
we are those special individuals
believe that you are special
simply because you are.
